I can hardly believe that I am 60. I don't feel that old most days. I remember my Daddy telling me that he felt middle-aged, but when he looked in the mirror he saw a 90-year old man. That's what happens to me. I look in the mirror and I see dark circles under my eyes and my eyelids droop more than before. The skin on my neck is starting to look kind of wrinkly. Yet, I don't feel 60.
I don't feel 60 unless I have to squat down to pick something up or stand up after sitting in a chair for a couple of hours. Ouch - then I feel 60.
I sometimes look at young women who are pregnant and I think "I wish I could go back and do it all over again!" I wish I could go back to the day I married Roger and start all over again. I would do a lot of things the same, but I do have a few regrets and I would like to go back and fix those.
But - no way I can do that. My years of having babies and raising children are over. I am sad about that. But my children still need me at times and I am finding so much joy in being a grandmother. Also I am finding new meaning and purpose in my life by teaching my class of young women on Tuesdays.
I don't know how long the Lord will allow me to live, but I want to stay busy until the moment He calls me home. Not just busy for busy's sake, but busy doing what the Lord wants me to do and doing what gives meaning to my life. I want to do things that will go before me to the Throne on Judgment Day. Things that won't be burned up in the fire. I want to have a crown to throw at Jesus' feet. I don't want to be empty-handed.
I pray that no matter how much longer my life will be that Jesus will sign His name to my lifesong. I pray that I have lived in a way that pleases Him.
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